Sunday, December 20, 2009

A Touch on My Life

For me, most of the mornings start by checking the mails. Today the first email that I opened was from ‘The Go-Giver Blog’.

‘Who in your life are the Go-Givers you’d like to acknowledge? ‘– Thus started the email.

For those who are not aware of ‘The Go -Giver’- it is a book written by Bob Burg and John David Mann – Simple story about a business idea - http://www.thegogiver.com/. If you want a copy of the same, I might be more than happy to gift you. (Only for the first 2 requests! )

When I went through the email I started thinking about the people who touched my life. There are many who have left marks in our life.

Now coming to the question of who is ‘the’ person who touched your life? – As of today when I look back, I can see clearly a ‘giving person’ who guided me with the light.

I did my studies at Cochin University for my bachelor’s degree. I am not sure whether I can say I ‘studied’ - it was more of self exploration through different forms from different angles towards life. In short, I kind of wasted the hard earned money of my parents without doing justice to what I was meant to do there in the campus. I was more into search for ‘meaning of life’, ‘why my life’ , ‘why engineering’, ‘why money’,..etc..etc..

Every day I had another ‘why’ question to answer. The search was more interesting than the electronics/ electrical/ instrumentation books. I even today don’t understand the essence of all the above said topics.

I didn’t know whether I was living. I am sure, I existed without realizing the state of existence. Most of those days were sleepless. The days-nights were full of thoughts, that too at the peak of randomness. The word ‘confused’ would be literally not enough to express that state of mind.
I climbed up the tree chopping off the branches which I climbed. There was no way to climb down.

Then at college, I met a person who seemed ‘human’ to me – Don’t mistake me, most of the people whom we meet have their own ‘masks’ and to see unmasked face is mostly not that easy.

The man without mask looked interesting to me.

I observed
I heard

I listened

He became a friend, a philosopher & a guide to me.

I was told ‘ to be aware that when I come down there would be some who would save me ’. I asked, ‘why I should be bothered about coming down?’. The answer was more interesting –‘I wanted you to be aware and that is all’.

All the roads were leading to empty places.
The walks towards nowhere made me tired
Each day was clueless, yet remained ‘self- gloried’ for nothing

Then came the light

Light took me to another land

Land gave me air to breath and space to occupy

Thanks to you sire for showing me the light..

I don’t have words of my own to say to you.


As Prof. K S Nair said, ‘I only hope I had some words made known as my own, to tell the truth of me!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Marriage: A personal view

My parents / relatives feel that I need to get married. They have started to check the horoscope match. However, I am devoid of any intentions to get married in near future.

My thoughts took me to a place where I started questioning my ‘eligibility’ for marriage.

Just for fun, I searched in google the word ‘marriage’. Ignoring the first two sponsored advertisement results the next one was the link to Wikipedia- - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage .

According to wiki the definition is as follows – ‘Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged by a variety of ways, depending on the culture or demographic. Such a union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the marital structure created is known as wedlock.’

I am still unable to completely absorb the ‘idea’ of marriage.

Why do people get married? Is it like 90% of the crowd gets happiness if they get married and so you too need to? Some say it is the rule of nature to pass on your heritage and so you need to get married for perpetuating your genes??

Whatever may be the reason for getting married, I am not dwelling on the reasons to get married.

Instead, I am more interested in realizing or rather putting down the points that might declare the eligibility of someone to get married.

I realize that the inner self of identifying who you are would alter your instincts.

Today, you might be someone and tomorrow after reading some books, watching a movie, discussing new thoughts, etc you might be elevated to a position where you would be fed with new thoughts. Those thoughts would provoke your identity and might alter it to a different level altogether.

It might be the experiences, it might be the impressions of others around you, and it might be circumstances.

From Lalbagh


I might not be eligible because
  • I am still not convinced within myself with the theme of so called ‘unconditional love’ or legal or social union.
  • I am still not clear whether I can be (or become) a better half of an individual till my last breath.
  • I consider myself as a 'nomad' - I wish to roam endlessly.
  • I am more interested in roads which are unknown. - I don’t want to do a ‘wed lock’ in between which might lock my ‘freedom of nomadism’.
  • I might like more than one person at a time which might again be ‘wrong’ as per marriage acts?
  • I always wish to change and I prefer to ignore the condition of ‘not to change because you are married
  • I don’t want the clause ‘you are married’ to clutter any of my natural instincts or thoughts to get locked at any point in time.
What I might be eligible for:
  • To share time & space with a ‘human’ who is interested in spending time & space with me.
  • To be with someone who might be able to be 'happy' with me (after understanding my ineligibilities for marriage).
  • To be with someone who can appreciate the concept of ‘communication’.
I hate being lonely, so someday..

May be I might get ‘married’
May be ‘marriage’ might hunt me down
May be I will redefine ‘marriage’ and then accept it in my own way.

PS: All the above given thoughts are completely personal – this is just a reflection of true self. As I always do - comments, critiques, thoughts are welcome

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