When I was in Tanzania, I went to Zanzibar (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zanzibar). You have two options to reach Zanzibar from Dar Es Salaam – Either through ferry or through air. The upward journey I preferred to take the ferry to experience the sea.
I reached the stone town about 2 hours earlier than my friend who came through air. We both decided to stay in a place which is around 50 kms away from the city of stone town. I called the hotel lady and asked where I can have my breakfast and she suggested Stone Town Café.
The stone town café is a small café around the corner of a road side. Most of the chairs were laid outside and it was mostly filled in with foreign couples, mostly Europeans.
I spotted a place where I can sit – a table for two. I ordered by breakfast and waited for it to get delivered.
When I sat there, I noticed a European lady who might be in her early forty’s who was sitting alone behind me. She was deeply into reading some book and sipping her coffee or tea. In between she walked across to the other corner of the café to put her mobile and laptop for charging.
I was alone and I was like bored to wait for 2 hours doing nothing. So I thought of entering into a conversation with this lady.
I got introduced to Marina from germany living in Africa for several years.
She informed me that there has been power shortage for several months. There has been some problem in the power cable and so for several months there is no power in the island. She comes to the café to have her breakfast and charge her gadgets.
Marina used to work in a hotel. Now, due to the power issues, most of the small shops/ hotels are closed. She lost her job since the hotel she worked got closed. She informed me that the temperature is too hot there and during nights we can hear the kids cries and people coming out of their houses and sitting outside. Since the power was not there they never use any pump sets and people get to take head bath once a week or so. She even needed to pay for getting a bucket of water.
I was like shocked to know that she was living alone in such a country for several years, far away from her own country. She told me that as long as we have a job it is not a problem to live anywhere. She mentioned that her skin is white and so whenever she goes to the market the price for each item gets hiked naturally.
I mentioned my experience in Saudi. If you are a white skin, you get to have a separate line starting from the immigration clearance. The Indians, Pakistanis and Bangladeshi’s stand in que for several hours, while the white get to enter the country in minute’s time. So I concluded that white skin has got its own positive side too.
She got married and stayed in Kenya for some years with her husband and later she decided to get into a job in Tanzania. She now lives alone and is in touch with her husband through phone and sms.
I wondered how people can stay away from each other and be in touch like that - Especially, when they are married.
During our casual conversation we discussed about married life and single life. She wondered how come I am not married. According to her, Indian guys of thirty five plus age are mostly married and that too arranged marriage.
I asked her about the book that was reading and she told me that the story in the book is about the love between a guy and a girl.
She told me that when a girl says something she means something and when a guy listens to it he catches something else. We discussed about how different the thought process of a man and woman is.
When you are single you get an opportunity to explore more and be more free and you can do anything you wish to do. But you will be alone and when you need a shoulder you might not have it.
When you marry, you need to adjust with the other person and you can’t do everything that you wish to do, however you will be sure that you have someone waiting for you always.
She made some remarks like, it is better to get married when you know the right person. When you meet one person, you put across your better self. You do act polished. However when you get close and attached, the politeness goes away and we become blunt.
I needed to leave the café when my friend came and say good bye to Marina. It was really an interesting conversation that I had with Marina; I always had an impression that a lady won’t be able to live alone in a foreign country without knowing the language and with no one to help.
There she was, living alone Alone for several years Far away from her country Even without knowing the language Living her life contended. Things are possible on earth if we really wish it for.
PS: When I was at the airport, I got this message ‘Now I am at the stone café, I will always remember the meeting with you. Have a safe flight’. Thanks to Marina.
When I walked into one of the court sessions, I saw two people standing in two separate witness stands. One was a guy, mostly around his early thirty’s and the other was the lady around the same age.
After being in the court for some time I could make out that the hearing was for a case filed against the guy by the lady and today’s session was to question the lady for some proofs.
When I made few enquiries about the case, they told me the following story.
The girl got married to the guy and about four years back she filed a complaint against the guy saying ‘harassment’. Both of them were blessed with a baby. Later, she left this guy and got married to another guy. Now, she is living with the other guy along with the baby.
The guy in turn is staying with his family. He was producing proofs of her second marriage. There was no divorce till date.
Now if he can’t prove that he is not guilty, he will be imprisoned for 6+ years. At the same time if the guy can prove that she has filed a case only due to the anger towards him, the case will be dismissed and closed.
Until this case is closed and divorce is over, he can’t marry anybody else. At the same time she is now married to another guy and living peacefully in some other state.
On the court, she was furiously angry, not even looking at the guy’s face- who in turn was her husband, with whom she shared her life few years back, with whom she had a baby. She was literally denying the facts which had proofs and even giving answers like’ why should I answer this question? ‘. The magistrate interfered several times and told her patiently to answer to the questions and not question the advocate back.
Being a witness to the scene, I was thinking how a person can go against another person whom they loved and started their life.
When we are happy, we share all the nice moments and we enjoy each day and when we get irritated, we get furious to an extent to which we take our swords to fight against the person who was our most loved one.
Emotions control us Emotions over rides our actions and the reactions Emotions make us happy and sad Emotions make us utter words which we would never had even thought of Looks like Emotions rule this world..
PS: When my friends are getting prepared for their married life, I wonder why I am getting opportunity to witness marriage separations …
Now a days when I experience something or when I envision something, I wish to write it down. Until I pen it down, it is like a pain inside.
I feel like thinking of writing about anything and everything which touches my heart.
During the initial days, when I started blog it was so tough to get a topic to write about. And now things changed.
Some force is acting up on me to write things about my thoughts, experiences, expressions, perceptions.. It is like I need to post it out in the world for someone to grasp.
May be the idea of someone out there who would read this is making me write. May be there is none there who is reading this.
After I have written down something, I feel relaxed. Relaxed as if I have done some hard work :-)
When you write, you think, you sequence, you prioritise. Well, none stops you from being random as well.
It is just the flow that matters, the flow of albhabets that coin into words, words into sentences and sentences into some form of meaning.
Life is interesting.. So is writing.. I feel relaxed.. though I have written nothing great.. Writing might be a way to self relaxation..
PS: Thanks to Preeti. I met Preeti Poojara in a chat window and she asked me this "so you want to be a writer or just some quote". I dont know why, it made me write about writing.. May be I will really become a writer as I wish someday to wake up every morning to read letters from people I never know.
Most of the decisions that I took in life was just momentary.
Now since the decision was taken without clear thought process, neither the way nor the end is clear.
The issues comes in life when we go ahead with vagueness and when someone else joins us in the journey . The same lack of clarity would cloud their thoughts and they also end up in a confused state as we are.
We feel helpless due to the cloud in front of us and so do they. It is always better to go on a vague journey alone.
Solitude would feed your soul but it might not be the case with the other person.
Why are be wired not to be clear? Why can’t we get the clarity in thought as Richard P Feynman does? Why are we given options in front of us when we are vague? Why cant someone stop us from going ahead when there is darkness? We go ahead and call it as ‘risk’ And now when we end up in a state where we don’t know how to move ahead?
Years back, one told me that I have crossed the way without knowing how to go back Even today it holds true. May be some day I will learn how to have clear thoughts May be some day I will see things as they are and not as they look like May be some day I will realize Realise what this world is all about And see the world with Clear Eyes..
I really don’t have a child but you know sometimes I wonder if I had a child. I mean the one close to our heart whom we can watch growing up.
The attachment that you have with a kid is no way replaceable. The moments when the baby was like crawling.. starts uttering the first words.. the time when walking starts.. etc.. it is a kind of never ending list.
After you watch the movie, you might feel that it might be more touching to have a daughter..You know the cute little faces that she is going to put across to you.. I am not saying the guys are not nice.. They are of course different in their own way..
No matter whether it is son or daughter, the connection that you have with a kid is something so amazing on earth.
It is like once you taste their love and affection, it is something you would never forget ever after in life.
To have a baby.. To watch them when they are going up.. To take off their tears when they cry And to tell them everything is going to be fine. To keep them close to heart To imagine their smiling faces when we are upset.. To hold them in our memories ever after And those becomes the moments of our life!! Life then becomes Worth Living For!!