Thursday, June 30, 2011

Why did it happen?

I heard some noise
Knock Knock Knock
I opened the door
I sensed some movement
I entered the room
But there was none
I might be mistaken,I told myself
I wanted to close the door
I wanted to go out
But something pulled me in
I walked across
I checked the bed
The sheets were used!
I felt weird
I felt curious
I heard a whisper
I looked back & I saw!

I froze
I just froze from toes to head
I lost my breath
I died that moment
It pierced through me!
For I couldn't move
Was it love?
Was it lust?
Why why why?
Why did it happen?

Wednesday, June 29, 2011


'I am fed up
I am bored
I can’t handle this any more
I have started hating you
I don’t want you to be near me
Can you stop touching me?
Can you let me sleep?', she said to him

He went to the other side of the bed
And tried to sleep asking himself
'Why on earth did I marry?'
He stared at the stars through the window
Wondering about the colourful dreams
He painted on his heart
when he met her!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Story of Flower

It held its head high
Gentle wind caressed it
Sun light gave a gorgeous look
For any girl who walked across
Wanted to have it
Everyone stared at it
Everyone admired it
Yet none could think of acquiring it
None had the courage to touch it
For it was that beautiful
To see in the plant
It became evening
Sun went to hide in its den
Moon came up in the sky
White light showered up on it
The light rain droplets gave it a nice bath
For it became fresh again
Again in the mid of night
Alas! None was there to take care of it!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Quiet Mind

I wished to quiet my mind
I tried to close the doors to my senses
I struggled not to hear or feel
I tried, tried and tried again

I pulled in blankness
I tied it inside my mind
For blankness kept troubling me
A pain of push and pull
I wanted relief
I wanted to feel better
For I lit a candle inside me
It brought light to my blank mind
I kept watching that candle
Through my mind’s eyes
I saw the candle melting away
There was no wind
There was no rain
I felt the warmth of light
The warmth of heat
From the candle inside my mind
Let it burn
Let it bring brightness
Let the brightness wash away
All my darkness
And bring in the light
For me to see what I am!

Saturday, June 25, 2011


The pain came by walking
I saw from a distance
I wanted to avoid
But it came along with pleasure
I welcomed pleasure and enjoyed its sweetness
Now the sweetness has vanished
Leaving the pain behind
I wonder when pain gained claws
The sharp curved claws
Why is it holding me?
Why is it getting deeper?
Shouldn’t pain move on & leave me behind?

I got used to pain
For I am not feeling pain anymore
I entered a painless state
A state where I am weightless
And I floated in air like a cotton!
Now no claws can arrest me
No breeze can own me
For I am a cotton flying up in the sky
Going along with wind
Wherever it takes me to !

True self

Can we be true?
True to our-self?
Do we know our real face?
Do we have a real face?
When did we start putting on masks?
Who acted upon us to create our masks?
We didn't limit our-self to have just one mask,
We created a variety of them,
A partner mask, a family mask, a social mask,
The list is endless..

Can we blame the circumstance or surroundings?
Should we even blame?
Or are these masks our destiny?
If we stare at our own naked soul
What will it be?
Will it be what we are now?
Or will we be still searching?
Searching for the 'real us' in within our own soul?
Even our own soul doesn’t identify or own us ?

What have we become?
What did we achieve?
Did we live our life?
Is this living?
We are not real anymore
We lost us within us!
I yearn to get it back
I long to get it back
For I want to hold it, embrace it
And treasure it forever
For I am not me anymore
I lost myself without my knowledge!
Am I the only one?
Or are there any others?
Who are searching for their true self?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Just for Once

Your magic surprised me
Your silly jokes made me laugh
Your smile made my day bright
Your voice kept me alive
You told me stories
Your stories transformed me
You vanished in thin air
Silence is eating me alive
My soul is passing away
My body is becoming remorse
Can I hear your voice?
Just for once?

Monday, June 20, 2011


She was banned
From being in touch
Her contact book was found & erased
She was given warnings
Not to contact him anymore
She remained silent
She tried to find her own happiness
Now years later she felt an urge
To find his status
'Will he be happy to talk to me?', she asked herself
She searched in the internet
To find his pages
She tried to find his online status
She peeped to read what he writes
She felt satisfied with it
But she never contacted him
She had become a visitor who sees things from a distance
Will she contact him?
Will she share a smile with him?
Ah, what can she expect more from him?
She took everything he had
Though it happened years before
He is now left with nothing
For her to take away from him!

Sunday, June 19, 2011


It happened without any control
Inhibitions couldn’t stand against them
They got involved
No boundaries could stand between them
They broke the walls built over years
It only took few moments
They were swept away by the moment
One among the moments of pleasures in life

An Employee

You need to please
Please your manager first
Then your manager’s manager
And then your regional head
And then the country head

For all those people are going to decide your fate
Fate within a company
For you are just an employee

We are just some laborers of corporate world
Who is one among the sanctioned head counts
For we are just a 'head count'
We will wait for the day when we elevate
Quelling this bureaucracy
Proving that we are worth living as an employee!

Friday, June 17, 2011


I am flying
I see all the colors
Clouds waved their hands
Birds gave me company
Sun came rising up
It showered me with light
I flew above the deep blue sea
I passed the mountains & valleys
I reached a cliff
My wings became heavy
I wanted to rest
I sat there at the cliff
Watching the world below
I closed my eyes for a moment
I felt her presence
Her magic smile washed away my pain
I forgot my existence!
I waited there for her
She never came
I longed to hear her voice
Alas! She moved on in life
Leaving me at the edge of a cliff!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


I started walking
I fell down many times
I ran to prove I can walk,
Now I can't walk anymore
I can only run
I am not a super man
I am just a normal being,
Who tried to prove himself
When I tried to run many people cheered me

Now I want to fly
Is there anyone who can cheer me?
Is there anyone watching me?
Am I still alive?
I feel numb
I have many dreams
Most of it is orphan
All it has is just me
But I treasure it
As if it is mine and mine alone
Is there anyone who can claim its parenthood?
Is this planet called earth?
Or am I in some other planet?
All I know is I am still a baby
Trying to walk and dreaming to fly!


I walked without looking back
I heard her footsteps
I sensed her presence

Without knowing her
I got accustomed to her existence
I traveled many places
I thought I am never alone
Now, when I look back
She is not there anymore
Where did she vanish?
Was it just a dream?
Or is it reality?
Alas! I dont even know her real face!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Friend - A blessing!

I met one of my degree classmates today night
Several years passed by, yet we maintain the contact,
We talk very rarely
Even if we talk, it is  like ‘hi how are you?’
But when I meet him, it is something special
He offers me dinner
Dinner with all dishes
It is as if we are one of the best friends,
So close to each other
Though, he remains unknown to me
He takes care of me
As if im his special guest
Though we talk once in a blue moon!

Whether we realize it or not
Years pass by like moments
Years later, all we see would be those moments
Moments that we had with our friends
Knowingly or unknowingly, we are lucky to have them
Those people who touch our souls
Who are happy to make us happy
Who are happy to see us happy
"Happiness is a decision,
We need to take it!"
As one of my classmate’s signature says
And for that, we need our friends around us!

PS: Many thanks to you Aneesh Mathew! I would never forget the dinner sessions with you!! And you Nahas Pareekutty, your email signatures will remind us again and again!! 
 I'm thankful to you both, whether you realize it or not!

Friday, June 10, 2011

An Interesting Story

Flashback: Story starts with an occasion when a meeting happens between a guy and a girl. From then on, they are in touch with each other. They both discussed their background, way of life, dreams, passions, work, family - well each and every personal thing. Slowly, they became very close to each other and the bond between them grew.

For every story there should be a twist to make it interesting. This story is no different. After several years, a new twist came in when a new character entered the scene as the husband of the girl!

Ah now, the guy got shock of his life! :-) Well, who won’t? Incidentally, the gal stopped communication & vanished when this husband character came into play. It was very hard for the guy to believe that this gal was married for years.

Then, we were taken to a scene where the guy looking back at past:- He remembering the days when she shared ideas on her concept of ideal husband, becoming independent from her parents, reaching out to her own world and all those. She informing him the reason of not being able to talk to him at night as her mother sleeps in her room. She introducing her brother’s kids...

Now, all of a sudden, the guy is given to understand that this gal is married. The husband character mentions that he is truly and deeply upset about this relation she had with him! And those kids were her kids and not her brother’s!

Till now, we heard the flashback of the story let us get into the present scene.  Post this incident, the guy refrained from contacting her and she also never tried reaching him.

Days, weeks, months and years passed...

Present: The camera shows the guy sitting at his desk beside the window. He was lost in thoughts about this girl, thinking why she has not even called him once? He thought about those happy moments he had, hearing her voice, her jokes, her laughs! Then the sound of a new email alert woke him up from his thoughts. He opened his inbox and saw the following message with sender's name as anonymous.

It’s just that my hands are tied & lips are sealed. I know how hurt you are & I can feel the pain...I didn’t mean to hurt you & I’m not saying this to defend myself...I take the sole responsibility of the hurt caused to you…

I’m scared to explain...But would really want to explain coz I know the pain of losing/hurting a true friend.

The story ends with the scene of guy reading this message!

How do you think, the guy should be responding?

Should he say, ‘hey thanks for your message. I understand you are scared and so please don’t explain’. Or Should he say, ‘After all, I am still your friend. So tell me, let me listen. I can lend my ears for hearing your part of the story’ Or should the scene be that he is lost in thoughts? Again, this email message came from an anonymous sender with no reply address!

Maybe this girl might have felt so lonely in life 
May be she wanted to have a friend & so she kept contact.
May be she might have thought, if the guy comes to know about married status, he will say good bye?
Maybe she would have reasons of her own
May be this is just a guy's version of the story!

I leave the decision to the reader..

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Today, A Special Day!

Yesterday night around 12 AM I got call wishing me my birthday wishes. So today is supposed to be the special day, the day I was born years before, well I should be saying 'several' years before :-)

I still remember my last birthday, when Prasad woke me up in the morning asked me whether my birthday resolution is going to be to grow hairs !! lol! - An year gone by without noticing, I have lost more hairs :-) and now Prasad has gone back to India.

'Wish List'- Do I have a wish list? - Of course yes, I wish
1. To travel around the world
2. To become an author
3. To become an employer
4. To create wealth
5. To help the needy

May be I will have to think differently and work differently to achieve all the above said wishes! May it be this year, when I will be capable to start working towards achieving these wishes.

'Pardon me'- I would like to say this to each one of you whom I have created pain knowingly or unknowingly! Being an emotional being, I might have gone through situations where I couldn't have controlled myself and jumped into conclusions and judgements. When I think back, last year there were several occasions where I felt like asking ask myself, 'Why did I do this?' Again, I know there is no point in saying this now, still for my own peace, for all those whom I have created distress, 'all of you kindly pardon me'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAR BHARAT ,HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..." - This came in the form of an email wish from a friend.

I wish myself a Happy Birthday. Last year in my blog post, I started with the Robert Frost's famous poem & this year, let me end this post with the same poem, it echoes in my ears and reminds me to move on..

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep..’

'A note of Thanks' - Thank you all.. Thanks for remembering me and for your wishes! Honour is mine to have you all around!

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

A Lakeshore view

I sat there at the lake side view park
I heard the chirping of birds in the background
The cool breeze swept across me
The morning sun rays played hide and seek through the trees  
I then saw two swans

The swans were together
They made sounds and noises
In no time, I saw them swimming away
Away from each other
They went till the lake corner
Once they reached the corner, they were different
They turned around and swam back faster
Faster to get close with the other one
When they got back together,they swam in circles
It appeared as if they were like a couple
A couple, playing with each other
And enjoying the sun rise!

Monday, June 06, 2011


I see it’s beauty
I love to have it
I want to experience it
I want to taste every bit of it
It will make me feel worth living
It might not be what I need
But it is what I want
It is a dream
I embrace its existence within me
But I never noticed it's danger
Danger which lies within the dream
It might kill me
It might break my heart
Still, I want to follow it
And dedicate the pursuit of dream to my soul!

Saturday, June 04, 2011

Why we miss them?

We meet many people
It can be in real life or it can be in the world of internet
For those in real life, we phone them, we talk to them, we meet them
For those in internet world, we won’t even know their real names
All we know would be their chat names or chat ids
We interact with those strangers
We chat with them without prejudice or bias
As days goes by, we become virtual friends
At times we keep in touch on a regular basis through messages or mails
And when we don’t see them on chat or get email response, we miss them

Why do we miss them?
For they are just virtual beings
Who carries neither an identity nor an address
For we cannot even hear their voice
Yet, we miss them, why?

For whom?

I hear voices
Voices inside me
I slow down my breath
I close my eyes
I concentrate, I listen
And I write what I am being told
Told by someone within me

For whom do I write? I ask myself
Is there someone listening to me?

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