Sunday, June 10, 2012

Happy Birthday

I lost more hairs (as per my friend Prasad Babu) and I got one more year added in my age field as per me :-) So yes, as you might have understood, today is my bday.

The time walks out of your own life so fast no matter whether you enjoy each moment or not.
The change happens no matter whether you bother about it or not.
So enjoy, cherish and feel each moment ... that is all we can do..

I wish
To enjoy each breath better
To become for refined (as a better human being)
To become rich (both in character as well as economically)
To donate to the poor
To sponsor an orphan

Well…. Today .. my birthday is almost over.. The facebook gifted me with a lot of friends who send their messages ..  Thanks to everyone…

I went to watch Prometheus movie with Steve Moss … Well, the movie was good as well. After several years I watched a 3D movie.…

As we grow, we realize that the things that we fancied during our young days are changing. I usually gift myself something on every birthday and on this birthday I couldn’t even find one gift :-)

Somehow, today I felt that it is not always about earning more money, but about having a good life which matters.

Yes, money does matter,but not beyond a point. Having said that my dream to see the world remains and I still dream about a day when I can have a bag full of money to explore the world!!

Friday, June 01, 2012

Why marriage?

Days, weeks, months and years are counting. I’m becoming older. Another year is just passing away. I never bothered about getting married; in fact I was always searching for my own eligibility to get into a social institution like marriage. (I wrote this about two years back - Yes, I know, the above said statement might be sounding weird. What to do? That is the fact.

Off lately, I feel something different. I am not sure how well I can express the same by keying in the words here. However, let me give a try to portray my version.

While I have been living all these years, I met several people. Among them, there were many girls/ ladies. Some of them were interesting to me. At times, I used to think that I am something special and so the ladies whom I chose to talk to or spend time with also needs to be special. I mean, special in its own way. When the time passed, I realized that the ‘specialness’ that I carry is nothing but uniqueness.

Well, everyone in this world is unique. So then, it made me conclude that everyone is special!

I am just one among them. When I say one among them, it was more of realizing that I am also a normal human who has crazy concepts and ideals in life which might or might not be practical. To feel great about myself, I used to create visuals, scenarios, dreams around me so that I’m the so called ‘One’, who is so special to attain something which is impossible or undoable for a normal being.

I know the sequence of above words might have made you travel to a very confusing world. Well, that is the kind of world that I live in.

One of my friends told me years before that I complicate simple things and then I try to figure out how to get out of those complications. ‘Why do you create these complications in life?’ I was asked. I never realized nor understood the meaning of that question then.

Now, I stand in a junction where I need to choose a road. The two roads lead to two different ways of life. – I need to choose one.

From Sivanasamudra_Talakkavery_1Nov2009

Which one should I be choosing? The one with a friend or the one alone?

I still don’t believe in the institution of so called marriage. I redefine it in my own way as living together with a friend with all the benefits of it :-) you know what I mean. Come on, that is not the only thing that I meant. Well, I think I need the following

Someone to talk to
Someone to discuss things
Someone to be there to share the food
Someone to give a company while travelling/ driving
Someone who can share the music
Someone who can give company for watching movies – and of course discuss about it afterwards
Someone who can suggest the new ideas in the books
Someone who can inspire
Someone who can help me grow better Someone who don’t mind polishing the rough edges that I have (without my knowledge :-))

The list goes long. In a nut shell, I think I should choose the road with a friend than being a solo traveler.

And if in case I get a person who is also into a similar search, maybe I should get introduced and then tag along!

I think, I will like it when I have a candle light dinner at a sea shore while I the sound of sea waves whisper in my ears, the cool breeze sweep over me, watching the face of other person in that warm light of candle.

PS: I'm writing something after a long break- Not sure why I was not writing all these days, but again I'm glad I could start writing again. It eases my heart and gives me peace !

Way of looking

Sea wave 1: ‘Look, I am feeling scared
Sea wave 2: ‘Why are you scared?
Sea wave 1: ‘I am going to die when I hit the shore, I feel afraid. Are you not afraid?
Sea wave 2: ‘Why should I be afraid? I am not just a wave but part of big ocean, no matter which shore I hit!

From Kanyakumari

When waves crash onshore they don't die – They then retract, as they are reborn in a sense and reunite as part of the ocean.

So, why are 'we' afraid or scared in life?  We are all a part of one universe.

PS: I was reading ‘letters to sam’, and this excerpt came from the book.

Friday, May 25, 2012

In Love

I ask 'why' to myself
And I try finding an answer
When I answer, I add ‘may be’
Now, 'why' & 'may be' became my world
They have become a part of me

As time progressed,
My list of questions kept increasing
And my list of answers kept decreasing
After all these years of my life
I realize, I have fallen in love

From Single
In love with my curious mind
In love with the questioning mind
In love with my thinking mind
Regardless of the answers
I love them unconditionally
For my thinking, questioning mind has become a part of me!

And I ask myself,
How can I not fall in love?
For who is there to love thy mind & its questions?


We look for comfort
Comfort at every nook and corner in life
We assume we are normal
Though we know we are unique
We lead a life which ‘appears’ to be normal
Though we like to cross the boundaries
And go beyond the social status quo

From 1 Apr 2007 Ranganthittu Bird Sanctuary
In this busy world we live in
We need to create a space
Where we refill our soul
And regain our strength
No matter whether we are alone
Or with someone in life!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

What am I looking for?

I keep looking around
Around the world I see
I try to go away
I try to hide
I try to put a mask
And I try to close my eyes
Just to dream about a world
Where I can get what I wish for
Where I can be what I want to be
Now I opened my eyes
And looked around
From Macro
I realize I am where I am
And I have a long way to go
To be where I wish to be
Again, I remind myself
Everything is just momentary!
Though, I long for the moments!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


I want to quit
I wish to quit
I long to quit
But I compromise
I see the positive side
I look for the spark
And the sparking moments ignites my soul
Though I feel I should quit
I am human
And I am alive

I am learning how to quit
While living within the four walls of darkness
I continue my search for the light!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Awards matter?

I got lucky to be a part of 3 Solitaire awards in my organization. Honestly it is all about the team work.
I remember the days
When I was sleepless
When I used to wake up in the mid night
Thinking about the families who might get affected
For those who will need to get their sister’s marriage done,
For those will need to clear their loans
Who will get a pay hike, if we win a deal!
It is all about winning,
Yet it is all about the hard work
It is all about the sleepless nights
It is all about the dreams
It is all about our sweat
We all will get to understand the meaning of the word
The word ‘deserve’ which has lots of meaning
Which we learn to know what it is..

From Thiruvannamalai
Life is long and we learn how to live it
Yet these awards boost our morale
It gives us extra energy to work more

‘Woods are lovely dark and deep
But I have miles to go before I sleep
’ – this echoes in my ears.
Thanks to the world and the people who are there with me
I bow in front of all of you!
It is all because of you all…

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Heart and Soul

After a long time… After a very long time I am feeling like writing.
I always used to feel that unless I feel the urge to write there is no point in forcing myself to write for the sake of writing.

I was busy working on a large case for the last couple of months … Well, I am not sure whether it is a right thing to put heart and soul for a project or an activity that you do in office.

I personally got involved emotionally into work.  For this project I was really really really involved. ( please note, I used really three times to stress that I really got involved :-) )

Now coming back, I called my friend Mustansir  and told him that ‘ Mom and baby is doing fine!’ – Now you understand how happy I am – we got the letter of award of the contract- Trust me this project has been like a dream to me, it has been like a baby to me - till we get the contract in hand (or get the baby delivered in hand), we get tensed and go through the labour pain.

Once you write an exam, you go through painful moments - Trust me, it is a different kind of pain. You think again and again and feel that you should have done this differently, you should have worked more harder, you should have done things in right time, etc etc..

The list of work we ‘should’ have done is endless, but again, the time is over and there is no going back..

So today, I feel happy. I just feel happy that I could put my heart and soul to a dream to be a part of the largest petro-chemical plant ever built in this world.. And I hope and I wish and I dream that me being a part of it will change my life…
It is always good to sweat a bit and feel happy when we feel that our sweat was worth…

May be life is all about putting our heart and soul and dreaming about it and going through the pain of sleepless nights to feel happy in the end!!
As someone said, it is not the ‘kill’, but it is the ‘experience of hunt’ that matters…

PS: After all life is short and we need to enjoy each bit of it- whether we succeed on our goal or not.. It is worth experiencing it. Thanks to each one of you for going through my scribbling after such a long time. I personally thank you for spending time in reading this.

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